Inhibition and Embodied Boundaries – A Somatic Approach to Emotional Regulation

One of the first things I remember learning in somatic therapy was how to differentiate between sensation and reaction. I came into therapy almost a decade ago saying something my mother had often said about herself: “I cry when I’m happy, when I’m overwhelmed—it just happens.” She called herself a crier, and for a long time, so did I.

What I actually wanted was to feel less reactive—less taken over by emotion and more grounded. I realized that if I focused on the sensations before the tears—the sensation behind my eyes, the wave erupting through the back of my throat—it was actually possible to hold myself back. I could inhibit or prolong the crying, not out of shame, but as a muscular choice. Over time, this became more than just holding back tears; it was discovering how to pause before blurting out a thought or impulse. I could hold court.

 

Over expression and excitement are real, raw, and inviting. And they’re also a motile way of being. Motility holds capacity for connection and emotional aliveness, and from a clinical perspective, if overdone, it can also generate anxiety, codependence, impulsive behaviors, and enmeshed relationships. Motility can create overstimulation (too much thinking/feeling), with difficulty maintaining boundaries. Some clients come in with these issues, wanting to make boundaries but afraid to do it. “What will my husband, boss, friends think of me if I say no?” The practice of learning about one’s self-forming process—whether being overly rigid, dense (hard to get through), motile (impulsive), or porous (feels deeply)—allows for a clinician to analyze
beyond the word, with how a person literally shows up. These different body shapes are not static. They can be dismantled, helping a client to have choice in how they live themselves and achieve their treatment goals.

 

Inhibition is a tool for growth. We use it all the time—not just emotionally, but in our everyday experience. Sometimes, in erotic or emotional contexts, we limit sensation to build toward something, to heighten sensitivity and feel our edges. Voluntary inhibition builds skill behaviorally, and increases our capacity to withstand more of ourselves—our friends, our jobs, our parents, our own thoughts.

 

In Formative Psychology, excitation is a state of increased pulsation—a surge of life force. Without structure, excitation can feel overwhelming or disorganizing. With too much excitement we can get lost. Clients who identify as “empaths” often have under-bound systems—absorbing others and struggling to know where they end and how to stop feeling so much. This is an example of porosity. This type of client might say they are sensitive and firmly proclaiming, “This is I.” That may be true, but I like the idea that our biological process doesn’t have to insult our personal (ego). Different cells can
join together, changing self-concept, ego, and improving life function.

When you are somatically aware of how you withdraw or overextend, we open the door to deeper questions: Where in life did this person learn to stop themselves from sharing what they think or who they really are—or, on the opposite end, overextend without bound, merging in relationships? Is that pattern serving them now?

 

To have boundaries, to have walls, is necessary, and reflects on our personal histories. We all live in layers: the embryonic layer of the womb, the child-development layer, the societal layer of expectations, and our individuated layer of self or soul. In therapy, we
get to meet those layers—to know which ones show up, which hold us back, and which
we might like to grow more of.

Somatic work is deeply analytical, and also very basic. What is it you want to change in yourself? And how are you preventing that from happening? As Freud said, “The ego is first and foremost a bodily ego; it is… a projection of a surface.” The surface is the body. Sometimes, when a person stops trying to get it right in their thoughts only, and instead practices physically how their inaction shapes their mental patterns, something shifts. There might be room for possibility, another version of yourself might show up. Room to sit beside the inner critic, believe in oneself, move forward—and maybe even find hope.

If you are interested in learning more, please reach out to us, no charges or fees.

 

 

Rachel Budnick