Your Body is a History Holder - A Gentle Introduction to Somatics
Rachel Budnick MA, AMFT
Somatics begins with the idea that we are shape-shifters—not in some mystical or cosmic sense, but in a real, tangible one. Our body holds our history—cellularly, structurally, and emotionally. How we were raised, who raised us, and the traumas we’ve lived through—whether in childhood, adulthood, or both—shape how we carry ourselves, relate, and move through the world. Our shapes—our physical form—adapt to the life we’ve lived. They hold memory, and they also hold the potential to shift.
Just like we have different attachment styles, we have different body styles (somato-emotional “stances”), These reflect how we organize our internal experience. Bowlby’s attachment theory identifies styles like secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. These reflect the ways we’ve learned to reach—or not reach—for connection. Bowlby believed these patterns were shaped early in life, based on how safe and responsive our caregivers were.
Somatics reminds us that these patterns aren’t fixed… think neuroplasticity! We’re not
locked into our early blueprints.
In formative psychology, one approach within somatic therapy is understanding personality’s physical stance. Each of us develops patterns based on early relational experiences, which show up in our posture, muscular tone, breath, and orientation to space and others, as well as the pace at which we move/talk/act. Traits like motility, porosity, density, and rigidity describe how physically and emotionally available or protected someone might be.
For example, someone with an avoidant attachment style might carry more rigidity or density in the body. This often presents as a strong, structured stance that subtly pulls away. Their emotional avoidance might cause them to feel distant from their emotions, their partners to feel distant from them. The body, our mannerisms, will begin to look avoidant, apprehensive, when consciously one would report this is not how they would want present.
How We Begin to Change, Somatically
This change isn’t about fixing or overriding who we are. It’s about getting to know the patterns that are here and learning how to engage with them differently. In Formative Psychology, we don’t aim to “release” or “let go” of something emotionally; instead, we organize ourselves in the now, with what’s showing up. We don’t just feel a reaction and follow it, we form it, give it a name, and get to know our attitudes, body,
and mind. Then, a somatic therapist helps you reshape how you meet yourself (and
others). This might look like:
● Widening the chest, making oneself appear to be a larger target rather than
collapsing the chest, to look less imposing (the prior displays confidence, the
later submission)
● Tightening the core or fists to contain feelings of being overwhelmed to retain
focus, compared to “losing” control of ones…. ¹
● Sitting still, standing your ground, despite the urge to flee, to grow capacity for
presence and non-action ² rather than instinctively.
This sounds like mindfulness, and there is an element of that. I believe this work is much more nuanced, though. When we interrupt the chatter with do-ing, action-through the body- and practice that… people change, self-understanding builds, egos strengthen, traumas become less significant. This work teaches someone to participate in their becoming. In yoga, ever heard a teacher say “and we begin again”? That reminds me of this work: Here you are, participating in your own story- where you began, and what parts in you need their ending. What needs to stop, and how to do that.
In session, we might simply sustain a muscular effort as you talk about a situation or dilemma, not to create tension and keep it for long, but to pendulate- add tension, and then decrease. In this sense of decrease, a person might find their behavior/attitude/thoughts shift, all through some focus on the “how” (i.e. how are you shaping this emotional stance, right now, in your body? Now create more, feel that. How do you view yourself as you increase this stance? Now create less. What changes in you?) This creates more space to think differently and then choose our lived response. It’s not about “calming down,” but reorganizing ourselves under pressure or defeat. Reorganizing the way one holds their history, growing (literally growing) internal agency, and creating the conditions for more profound relational change.
¹ (great for impulsive minds and learning how to wait with oneself vs trusting fast
thinking)
² (a client can go from saying “I can’t handle this new job to, yes, I can do it).
This work requires an authentic and adaptive approach. Sometimes, that means offering direct feedback; other times, it means staying quiet and attuned until something becomes clear. We somatic folks are not sitting around dancing in the therapy room, although that is one approach.
For example, if a client is avoidant—not just in theory, but in real time by missing sessions, sidestepping questions, or withdrawing emotionally—I try to meet that as it’s happening. Because the therapeutic space is a real relationship, how we show up here often reflects how we move through the rest of our lives. Naming avoidance allows the client to see their patterns in motion, whether softly or more directly.
It’s never about shaming or correcting. It’s about gathering information. And as one of my (unnamed) somatic mentors often says “What you do—or don’t do—with that information is your choice.”That’s where agency begins, when we get to choose our response—to ourselves, to others, and to our thoughts.
So yes—our body is a history holder. But it’s also a place of possibility. Our histories shape us, but they don’t have to define our future. Through somatic work, we learn to listen and to shape something new. If you or someone you know is interested in learning more, please give us a call! No fees or charges.
Rachel Budnick